This may sound grim, but the truth is most people won’t change even if their life depends on it.
Doctors have known for decades that lifestyle is the main cause of heart disease, the number one cause of death in the U.S.
But according to Dr. Edward Miller, CEO of John Hopkins Medicine, 90% of patients who’ve had surgery to help their heart disease have not changed their lifestyle after 2 years!
“Even though they know they have a very bad disease and they know they should change their lifestyle, for whatever reason, they can’t.”
This is also part of the reason why most entrepreneurs fail.
If you’ve tried to break out of the rat race by building your own business, then you know it requires a major change in how you live your life.
And the reality is, most people aren’t willing to make the change.
They would rather watch their dreams wither and die than give up an hour of TV every night to work on their business.
The Wrong Way to Change
One reason why change is so hard is that most people go about it the wrong way.
Consider the heart disease patients we talked about earlier.
These people know exactly what is causing their disease and putting their life in jeopardy.
Their doctors have no doubt given them advice on what to eat, how to exercise, along with prescriptions to help them stay healthy
And yet all of this information doesn’t lead to change.
The truth is, facts don’t change our minds, and therefore they can’t change our behavior.
George Lakoff, former Professor of Cognitive Science and Linguistics at the University of California at Berkeley describes it this way:
“We may be presented with facts, but for us to make sense of them, they have to fit what is already in the synapses of the brain. Otherwise, facts go in and then they go right back out.”
In other words, facts mean nothing unless they fit the beliefs and perceptions that already exist in our mind.
That’s why people continue to trade their time for money at a 9 to 5 job that keeps them stuck in a cycle of living paycheck to paycheck with no retirement.
Most of these people know that it’s not sustainable, and some of them know that there is another way to create income for themselves and their family.
And yet they continue to do the same things and therefore continue to get the same results.
Information alone is not enough to make people change their lives.
Is Fear The Best Fuel?
Most people assume that fear is the best motivator for change.
That’s what doctors thought when trying to get dying heart patients to change their lifestyle
That’s also why it didn’t work.
Fear may help in the short term, but the truth is that it doesn’t create lasting change.
That’s because fear is just too painful for our brains to keep front of mind.
After a while, our minds will start to push the things we fear to the back of our minds to protect us from that pain.
when that happens, our motivation disappears and we go right back to our old habits.
Maybe you’ve seen this happen in your life when trying to start your own business
At first, the fear of working until you die helps you stay up late, turn off the TV, and get to work building your future.
But after a while, your mind will slowly push that fear out of awareness or come up with ways to play it down or reasons to procrastinate.
Before long you’re back on the couch with nothing to how for it.
Is it Best to Change Gradually?
It’s a popular belief that making small tweaks to your lifestyle over a long period of time is the best strategy to change your life.
But the truth is, changing bit by bit is not effective.
Studies show that people who try to make serious changes gradually don’t see enough results to see a change and stay motivated to push through discomfort and continue.
“I Can Do It All By Myself”
Most people who start an online business are hesitant to tell anyone else.
They would rather work go it alone and try to create results in their spare time without relying on anyone else.
The truth is that this is the worst way to try and make a change.
Most people who adopt this strategy give up before making any real progress.
The hard truth is that change is so uncomfortable that most people would rather die than change
But there are some ways to make change happen.
In fact, a doctor by the name of Dean Ornish put together a program that operated differently than any other to help 77% of people make lasting change even after 3 years.
He cut through the lies about change and developed a system based on what really works.
Here are a few tips you can take from Dr. Ornish to help you make the change you want in your life.
- Don’t rely on information alone to keep you motivated. Change starts with a change in the story we tell ourselves.
- Our behavior is based on FEELING, not fact. Focus on what it will feel like when you reach your goals because that is the ost powerful motivator for change.
- Trying to change gradual leaves you prone to giving up and backsliding – Go for change that will yield results quickly so you can see progress and stay motivated to continue.
- Be sure to have plenty of support. Change is much easier in a group especially when everyone is trying to make a similar change.
Ultimately the choice is yours.
Change is hard, but not impossible.
The question is are you going to be one of those who are willing to do what it really takes to change your life…
Or will you let your dreams die?
Are there any other challenges that you could use some tips and tools for?
Drop a comment to let us know what you’d like to learn.
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Change is definitely hard but possible. Focusing on feelings rather than facts and how one will ultimately feel in the end is a great strategy to use for change.
I agree with you Dina. Change is hard but it is possible with consistency. When you are consistent, it becomes second nature to you. That’s with everything. When you do something that is outside of your comfort zone over and over again, you just get used to it and it becomes easier. I know because I have done it and I am living proof that when you’re consistent in something, the fear goes away and you just get used to it. But it starts with shifting your mindset to start and to keep going so that you can actually accomplish anything you set your mind to.
I was taught to walk through my fear and light is on the other side! If I listen to what my brain tells me I’m in trouble but if I go with what’s in my heart the results will be amazing!
I really enjoyed that. Got me thinking about change being hard but not impossible and the fact that it’s ultimately my choice, “IF” I want lasting change, using the two subjects, from a heart attack which by the way is in my family, and complete financial freedom.
sorry to hear Jason that your family member(s) have suffered heart attacks. I would never wish this on even my worst enemy. It’s very tragic to go through this. My prayers are with you and your family. Thank You for sharing this. It’s very brave of you.
Yes I want to change my mindset to focus on the change I need to grow into a more better person and earn what I learn. I’ve been working on my health for years has apart of the change process and now I need help with the financial change. Please help!
Makes you put your thinking cap on.
I agree with you Jan. We are truly blessed to be reading articles like these. Not a lot of people get to have that privilege. For whatever reason it is whether it’s because they don’t find it important for them or they are just too busy to check it out, etc. We, however, are blessed because we took the time to read it and it’s information that is profound and real. We all have experienced what Keala has mentioned. But now it’s up to us if we want to continue the way we are (if it makes us happy fine) or do we want to make that necessary change to improve us.
I want to learn how to manage my time spent in learning to change practicing change n managing my own business, is this even possible?
Hey Shirley! Change may be hard, but it’s definitely possible. You may want to check out this article to learn more about Keala’s story and how he was able to change his life: http://go.fullstaqmarketer.com/4cornerstones
Yes Philip. I like that you mentioned that. I read his article and I also attended a seminar he was giving and I was intrigued by what he had to say. It’s a story that many of us can relate and it makes you think that if he can do it then why can’t we? I am not going to give it away but when people hear his story, they are going to be enlightened and admire this man’s courage. He had a goal and made it against all odds because he believed in one person that he needed to show that he could do it and that person was HIMSELF! If you don’t show yourself that you can do anything, the accomplishments will never happen and you will be left with a bunch of “what ifs”
Yes I agree change is not easy it is possible ,I am pushing myself to a limit before asking for help enjoying the community at Facebook good feeling to know I’m not alone.
I’m glad your experience is a positive one Ines. Keala was telling the truth when he stated that you have a community that is willing to help you in anything you need. It’s always enlightening to experience something like that.
Shirley YES it is. It’s possible but you and only you can make that possible. I’m not religious but I do trust in god’s way. I pray all the time for him to show me the way of how to find what I’m looking for in any situation and he never abandons me. It may not be in front of me but he does deliver so that I can see it if I do make the effort. It like that famous analogy we hear from time to time, ” you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. I hope that I didn’t mess that up. lol. He gives us signs on whatever we ask when in need but it’s up to us to receive it. It won’t be hand delivered by him.
Change is difficult when you are set in your ways and fear plays a huge roll in making change. But I have been through so much setback and disappointment through the last few years I have reached a point of life that change must come now or I’ll never have the good life I dream of.
Well iam good with change.
I can adapt easy.
Change here I come to make a better life.
All sounds very great now how do I get started! I know that change is hard however, we know that it’s not impossible.
Everything sounds good. But I can’t join anything if I don’t have the funds to start. But everything sounds good and promising. But not able to join becaise no fundsat this time.
I have jumped in with both feet and will reap the results with a plan in place for the long term. I see where I will be. Right now I am where I am supposed to be.
I know I need to change to make things better for us. We live paycheck to paycheck and are barely surviving. I’m not looking to get rich, I just want to be able to pay bills and have some left over to have some fun. Travel a bit. The hardest part for me is figuring out where the money is going to come from to support starting a business. I have struggled my whole adult life with health issues that still affect me today and I’m just really tired of living this way. I went through the BLC in September and I’m still feeling the fear and the knot in the pit of my stomach that tells me I have to do this. Any suggestions?
Hi Deborah. BLC was just the beginning. If you enjoyed what you experienced, then you should go for it. I also attended BLC and I had a great experience. That is why I did not hesitate to make the investment. I am not going to ruin it for everyone nor am I going to talk much about it but that is FEAR that is lurking. It’s a disease that always put a “but” in every one of our thoughts and doesn’t let you progress in your life. I have dealt with these “buts” all my life too but I have to make a stand and say “NO MORE”. I am not going to doubt that opportunities set before me. It’s either I go for it or I just stay where I am which is unhappy. The choice is ours alone and nobody can make it for us. The opportunities are there. The question isn’t are we going to take it. The real question is Why shouldn’t we? What’s really keeping us from taking it? These are hard questions but it’s about digging deep and doing some soul searching to come up with the DEEP answers. I hope this helps Deborah.
I want to change my life around and get out of living week by week on paycheck to paycheck. Trying to buy a house for me and my new family and it’s getting harder and harder trying to do it. See everyone else living there lives like they want , having those get things and not really worrying about what they spend there money on. Looking for help to make this happen for me and my new family. Looking for help.
I’m getting close to losing everything I have and I need to make money. I’m just like everyone else, I’m tired of fighting this fight and I’m ready to start winning the fight. I know that in order to win a fight that I have been losing, I need to come up with a new strategy. I am so ready to win and I know that I will need help.
living on one income since i have been having health issues is rough to figure where and how to pay all the bills but i keep pushing on i know thing will get better once i am able to get past this disability i done it before i can do it again just have to make it a few more months till i get this settled i am figuring out how to come up with money to start this right now still want to do this
That was a direct hit the reason I’m looking to work on line health issues are stopping me from my construction business if I don’t change I’m dead
What an eye-opener! Philips’s paraphrasing of George Lakoff’s comment about facts meaning nothing unless they fit into our beliefs and perceptions that already exist in our minds really struck home with me. My mother was constantly told by her siblings that having her was the reason their mother had died because she couldn’t handle having another baby and that she would always be a failure. In turn, my mother always told us that if we made an A in school, we failed because we didn’t make an A+. She was always saying negative stuff about us and putting us down, probably because that was the way she grew up. We got very few encouragements from her because she was never happy and felt like a failure all her life. In Philip’s paraphrase, I realized just how strongly the fact we were told that we were failures growing up had warped our beliefs and perceptions about ourselves.Because I don’t believe I can succeed, I look back and see all my failures: college dropout, two failed marriages and, because of a choice I made recently, it will soon be three I’m afraid, as well as the estrangement of my children. I never started any of the companies I wanted to. I’ve never lost the weight that would help me feel better physically. I have just been a miserable person like my mother was. And I don’t want to be this way any more. Philip and Kaila are showing me that life is short (and I’ve already lived over half of mine). I need to make some changes that do not fit into my normal beliefs and perceptions. I need to step out of the boat and take a chance on my happiness! Thanks for the encouragement!
When your life depends on it, why wouldn’t you change. This was my case. I had a health problem associated with my diet and my weight. I did exactly as my doctor ordered. I changed my diet, lost over 100 lbs and starting a walking routine on a daily basis.
But then again, changing your pattern of watching tv or doing anything else that is not really helping you is a different way of thinking for me. I should use my time wisely and try to focus on what is better for my financial life.
It’s a good article. Enjoyed it.
I know what I want but my money is nit enough I barley have enough to pay bills I want to bring my family to disney world but don’t have enough for the house it hold 24 people so i want to go on honeymoon with husband that we couldn’t go on cause we don’t have the money we was supposed to go to Hawaii but we lost his mother so I just don’t have the money to do nothing with we trying to get house remodel so we really pinching pennies
Yes sir watching my dad die at the young age of 62 just 28 months from retirement, having maybe one or 2 days at most to be with family, Is the cause to be the why in want to succeed at this, I lost my 1st wife of 18yrs our 4 children having to live the struggle of my pay check to pay check not seeing alot of me, working 12 to 16 hour days, having nothing to show but debt upon debt.. I hear this and I will be successful.. in the name of my future for good of my 2 boys I have now and my 2nd wife and life. Great words Keala.. Ur Doing Good Works.. amen
Community is key.
In my opinion, change is all about having passion and fire for something different in life. When you get to the point that you absolutely HATE THE WAY LIFE HAS DEGENERATED and you will not stop pursuing the life of blessing God has in mind for you with that passion in mind you will not be defeated…people don’t realize what made Michael Jordan great was not really talent or anything else but this: FOCUSED PASSION–he was passionately focused like a laser beam and championship titles and that’s why he was a winner and overcomer/victorious warrior in basketball…Dear God help us to have more people of the same mindset….life rewards the brave and the hungry NOT the fearful and passive.
Holy sh*t. Im a hard working union guy thats had 2 heart attacks and still doing the same stuff I used to. But sometimes the risk isn’t worth the reward like missing a mortgage payment.. would like to do this program but like you said alot of us are living paycheck to paycheck
I am willing to take a risk in order to make a real change in my life. Also, to take control of our (my husband and I) finances instead of our finances control us.
I am willing to take a risk in order to make a real change in my life. Also, to take control of our (my husband and I) finances instead of our finances control us.
I am not scared of change I just would like to be able to talk live on phone to the person that is helping me make a change in my life that’s all.
Great story and yes it’s very hard to change who we are , but with a little guidance and making good habits every day we can all change. Also, our inner self is calling and we can’t here or see because we are in a different channel or frequency per say. It’s never to late though because they are always Great Folks trying to wake people up. Again, I personally think is lack of motivation and to train the inner self to keep learning and reaching out to all Folks out there. I Thank You all for the Great Connection to keep reaching out to inspire and Educate for a Greater cause and God continue the Blessings to Flow.Amen!